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[22 Jan 2020|03:40pm] |
( Awards )
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[20 Sep 2008|08:43pm] |
There are a few things in life that just click, you work for years and years trying to figure them out and get them perfect and one morning you get up and you do that one thing you could never really do before and there's no reason for it, you just get it now and you just know how to do it. It's like fixing up an old car or building a dog house. Maybe you didn't know how to do it before and maybe you screwed it up a few times then all of the sudden it just works. I wish I could figure that out.
Saying I'm not the smartest man in the world is probably the biggest understatement of all time. Not to say I don't think I have something to add to the world or a purpose or all that junk that goes along with it but there are all these questions that wont ever have answers. Like life is some big puzzle and somebody took scissors to a few of the pieces. What is it that happens when things click? What's our purpose? who's right and who's wrong? What makes an expert the expert? What is art? what is love? (baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more.) What's the deal with God? Who's right about all that?
There are probably answers to some of those questions and maybe we'll figure them all out after we're dead. "Oh! I get it, I always forgot to carry the seven! oh taxes.. so easy geez, can I go back now?" there was an entire scene in my head with that, robes and clouds and Saint Peter shaking his head. One of the only saints I'm not named after, I should probably start sucking up now. I guess that's the whole deal that you're supposed to be planning. woah back on track here.
I broke my coffee pot the other day. I was holding it and I turned around and the dogs ran in, which takes about a minute and a half for the half dozen or so of them to filter in to a room at once, long story short there was a leash and a tug of war and some questionable double dutch work but in the end the coffee pot did not survive. Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up glass and coffee and keep dogs out of it at the same time? There were coffee paws everywhere. Thankfully no animals were harmed in the making of this production, myself included. I guess the problem now is that I don't have a coffee pot for my coffee maker. There were things I didnt like about it anyway but I wasnt about to just go get another one, half the time I dont drink coffee at home anyway. So I guess now I'm stuck with the question, do I go try to find one that was the same as the old one or do I just get a whole new maker? Clearly putting the old one back together is out of the question. Its' long gone. Maybe I should just forget about it and start drinking tea.
My Grandma Welling, I talk about her a lot. I miss her, she was such a character. I swear if they still made cartoons like they used to she'd be right in there with them all. She used to make this salad, she liked to cook for a crowd which was good considering we now rent a hall when we all get together. Years working in the kitchen at the hospital meant her cooking was well safe and good to feed a million people but not always that .. well great tasting. Okay, that's not true but sometimes it was strange. She made this salad that was just lettuce, green onions and coleslaw dressing. It sounds horrible but it's just one of those things you get used to and you find yourself loving even years later just because of the person who you associate with it. She was also one of those people who had to have some sort of weird shit in jello at every meal. There was fruit and carrots and sour cream. Trust me, it was scary and as a kid of course you eat it because it's green and wiggles and makes your sister sit just a little farther away from you at the table.I don't know what the point of all this was, I had that salad the other day and maybe I should start drinking tea.
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| Clearly I have too much time on my hands |
[23 Jun 2008|09:00pm] |
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My life for the last year and a bit has been about what happens when this is all over? Where do we go from here? Well I've given it a lot of thought and I'd like to show you. Take a walk with me, will you?
"The Best Space Move Ever Not Yet Made by Tom Welling"
Moving slowly into the setting sun
Keeping secrets away from everyone
Staring out into another world
Tide is rising but time is standing still
Pan up a white sandy beach at the end of the day to a shack. Everything is quiet, a few random people still walk the shoreline. The breeze blows the trees and the scooped bows of the canopy of the beachside bar. Weather worn wood and peeling paint make the patio only steps up from the sand. Come up to the bar as Andria clears off the last reminents of a days work. She reaches into the fridge and opens a lone beer leaving it on the counter for her one last regular, regularly late as usual. Her long blonde curls move with the breeze and she looks back over her shoulder to see Mark emerging from the water, riding the last wave as far in as he can before he grabs his short board and heads up towards her. She smiles even if he is a pain in the ass. Everyday on this island is the same, everything always has been. New tourists come and go but everyday for the past three years Andria has cleared this counter and locked up the shack and every day Mark took the last wave in and padded up the stairs, soaking wet and sandy. He sets his board against the railing and goes for the beer. The familiar look in her eyes shows how easy this all is for her but can't help but tell her secret that she's wanted so much more.
Why in the world would anyboddy put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make it
Everbody wants me to be what they want me to be
I'm not happy when I try to fake it
Everyone on the whole damn island knew Mark. A man without a destiny, a man who never really cared for one. He'd passed the age where people expected him to find a path, to have a dream. Mark didn't have a dream, he just was and he was happy with it. Mark was a natural with machines, like they were part of him. He never read a book or took a class or learned from his father who could barely start the lawn mower, he just knew. He drove a ratty old truck, the body rusting out, the paint a faded dusty light blue but it never broke down and it ran smoother and quieter than the newest shipment of vehicles from the mainland. Each year he'd pick a project, some scrap to take a part and put back together. This year was avionics some tourist charter well beyond its years, after a few too many close calls and the threat of a lawsuit it was his for twenty five bucks and a six pack and he was almost finished.
Mark unzips his suit and wears it half off as he finishes the beer sitting at the lone stool left at the bar not yet put away.
"You're late."
"Sun says I'm right on time. You just run by the wrong clock."
"Yeah well I get paid by the hour not by the sunset." She laughs as she continues to close up shop. She pulls down the shutter, taking the half finished drink from his fingers and nudges him off the stool so she can set it back inside.
"You should talk to somebody about that. Hey! In a hurry much?"
"Like I said, you're late." Andria huffs grabbing her helmet and keys from under the bar as she ducks under the shutter and locks up the half door.
"Fine, but I'm driving." He grabs his board and takes the ramp around the side of the shack back to his truck.
"In your dreams, shortbus."
"Oh that is so not PC"
Insert chase scene between blond on a dirt bike and Joey in an old pick up to a crazy mountain volcano cave thing. Blonde wins. They drive into the cave, doors close and giant elevator takes them down to HQ
Inside is a NASA control room, things turn serious immdediatly but Leblanc doesnt get the memo. They walk down hallways to a board room with a map of the universe on the table. A man with a pirate eye patch is moving models of the Starship Enterprise, and the Millennium Falcon around with one of those long stick-ish rake things. Andria clears her throat and reports that they are reporting for duty. Jack Sparrow clears his throat and straightens "Ah yes yes. Good. You're here so we can finally get started."
In comes long exposition about problems on the space station and how the last team they send up disappeared right before they reached the station. They are the only ones for the job! They take on the task and insert awesome montage of putting on space suits. Leblac gets stuck, comedy portion of the film ensues.
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger
 They get in the rocket and clearly there's a monkey on board with them and maybe an awesome robot. We'll have to look at the budget. So they get up there and they're right near the space station past the place where the last mission was lost. They think they're in the clear when the monkey gets loose (who we find from a flashback is actually a double agent for the coalition to destroy earth and it's people, C-DEP) and presses the big red button that starts the countdown to the jump to emergency coordinates that indicate to the OTHER SECRET space station that earth has been compromised and must be distroyed.
Mark panics and starts pressing buttons forgetting all his training. Which ironically starts blaring "Joy to the world" by three dog night over the speakers. Andria uses her secret awesome anti-gravity fighting skills to knock out both the monkey and Mark. She floats over his unconscious body and delivers a witty (actor requested) "how you doin?" By the time the robot and Andria regain control of the ship it's too late. The secret NASA station has already responded and their nukes are hot.
Andria and the robot who continues to make inappropriate jokes commandeer the small shipon to the station and have to fight their way to control to let them know about the monkey double agent. Mark comes to just as they're leaving but so does the monkey and the monkey pokes him in the eye rendering him useless for at least another 30 seconds while he disappears into the duct work of the station.
Mark follows Andria using the tracking device he'd secretly built into the robot that reports back to his watch.. the one he wears on the outside of his spacesuit. Inside Andria realizes that she's only kick ass in zero gravity and is taken captive by the other C-DEP agents inside the space station disguised as cooks. They decide they should eat her. Mark fights his way though, only finding Andria because he decides he's hungry not having eaten for the 40 earth years it took them to get there. He breaks into the fridge and finds Andria tied up. "How you doin?" is returned. They battle in the space fridge and the robot breaks it up.
As a team they knock out the double agents and get to the main deck just in time to stop the monkey. The long winded story is told to the Space NASA CEO or whatever and they call Hawaii to see if it's true. They confirm and the day is saved.
Mark and Andria finally confess their love for each other and kiss with a space fireworks display out the control window including an exploding monkey. They return back home and use Mark's time traveling device to put them right back where they started. This time she lets him finish his beer.
THE END
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